The first step is to look at your faults – this
is essential. It is not for the purpose of telling yourself you’ve
done something wrong, or even to judge yourself. Simply looking at
and understanding your faults will develop your consciousness –
and that consciousness will show you what is a fault. Again, this
is not to be read in religious terms but we have to start somewhere.
And the first stage is that you start looking at the faults, you start
being realistic and sincere with yourself, saying, yes, this is me,
I like this, I don’t like that and I know this is not right
– but don’t judge yourself, just be aware of yourself
and work at it.
“My Beloved
and Lord,
indeed I have wronged myself,
so forgive me,” and He forgave.
Indeed, He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.
- Surah 28:16
Now, being aware of the fault is one thing but to be
completely absorbed by that fault is another. You have to be detached
in your observation, be detached from the faults; otherwise your consciousness
is not going to develop strength to deal with those faults. Don’t
become bogged into them, feeling guilty or you could end up like a
religious person wanting God to forgive his sin, though if this is
what you want that’s your choice. That is a stage you could
stay at but hopefully that is not the stage that spiritually you are
aiming for.
Seek to identify those faults, learn about those faults
and work with your shadows. Some of the impressions you might have
of your shadow-side could be completely wrong. You might think a shadow
is negative, but you’d be surprised, there may be a lot of positive
things in there. Perhaps you’ve just been conditioned to perceive
it as negative, so it stays that way.
Perhaps your parents have told you that this isn’t
right, you should play this, that is rubbish, etc. And perhaps you’ve
felt that this is a fault you have, then despite your having a tendency
toward doing something, you can’t do it because of your conditioning.
That isn’t to suggest that you go and do whatever it might be,
but look at it, examine it; why are you feeling guilty about doing
it, why is this a fault?
You may be surprised to find that some of those so-called
faults are actually positive, likewise, some of what you consider
positive could be an illusion. Though you might feel something is
positive, in spiritual terms, on the path, it isn’t positive
at all. Perhaps your ego says that you should join a spiritual group,
do prayer with them and do all those things until you feel good. Be
aware of it.
